


Love the World Like I Should

by Hollysharks



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, BDSM, Borderline Personality Disorder, Break Up, Choking, Codependency, Coming Out, Draco Malfoy - Freeform, Drinking Games, Dubious Consent, F/F, F/M, Harry Potter - Freeform, Hogwarts Eighth Year, I only have a general idea of where this is going, Internalized Homophobia, Internalized Victim Blaming, Kink, Light Dom/sub, Luna Lovegood - Freeform, M/M, Mind Healer, Nightmares, Post-Battle of Hogwarts, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Potential Draco/Harry I dont know yet these characters surprise me everyday, Quidditch, Slow Burn, Spin the Bottle, Therapy, Triggers, Under-negotiated Kink, Unhealthy Relationships, ginny weasley - Freeform, hermione granger - Freeform, lots of quidditch, mental health, panick attacks, ron weasley - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:27:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26641426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hollysharks/pseuds/Hollysharks
Summary: Ginny Weasley just wants to go to Hogwarts and forget about the last year. Forget about the Battle of Hogwarts, the loss, and the weight of everything and everyone around her seemingly crumbling. Returning to Hogwarts with Harry was supposed to be a breath of fresh air for the both of them, and a chance to show themselves that things are ok. But Harry's falling apart at the seams, and Ginny can only do so much before breaking down herself. Children aren't meant to go to war. The only person who seems unphased by it all is Luna Lovegood.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Luna Lovegood/Ginny Weasley
Comments: 3
Kudos: 17





	1. Platform 9 3/4

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is my first time actually sitting down and writing out an original fanfic idea, and I'm really excited! I love Hogwarts Eighth year AU fics and finally decided to write one myself. It's going to be a long one, hopefully going over the entire year and all of the breaks, and delving into each character's growth post-battle. I'm going to try and add more tags and specific trigger warnings for each chapter as well, since I know later in the fic it may get a little intense and I want everyone to be able to enjoy and feel safe! So without further ado, please enjoy!

Crying had always been a common thing when students first stepped onto platform 9 ¾. Whether it be the parents and first years coddling one another and saying their first goodbye before the holiday season, friends reuniting and laughing so hard with summer stories tears can’t help but prick at their eyes, or seventh years who realize this will be their last September boarding the train. However, this September 1st there was a distinct quiet between the rustling of carts, the whistle of the train, and the hushed whisper between families. The crowds had dwindled greatly. Many families had chosen to keep their students’ home while Hogwarts finished rebuilding the castle from The Battle or were busy mourning the losses of the war.

Even with the feeling of the platform holding its breath, Ginny Weasley could not imagine being anywhere else. Her whole sixth year had felt like a blur, only recalling bits and pieces, and avoiding the Prophet or any other news source as desperately as she could, wanting to keep it that way. She had spent the summer at the Burrow with her family, and of course Hermione and Harry as well. It had been, well, words could not describe it. It had felt empty. Not just because of the lack of family. The guilt had eaten away at Percy, and he quickly found himself back at the Ministry, now attempting to create a better name for himself by pursuing the now former Death Eaters. Bill of course lived with Fleur at Shell Cottage, where they often invited her and Harry to visit, but neither of them had ever been up for travel. Charlie and George had wanted to stay, truly, but Charlie had to deal with the legal proceedings in regard to importation of magical creatures and getting all of the dragon’s home and safe. George on the other hand… it wasn’t a mystery why he didn’t want to be around. A mere few weeks into summer and he had come up with a reason to go back to Diagon Alley to reopen the shop, and what turned into workday apparitions soon evolved into him creating a makeshift flat above the shop. Nobody spoke about Fred.

Even with Harry things had been distant, but she understood. He had nightmares nearly every night, and she could barely sleep at all. Most of the time they spent together was quiet, but a peaceful quiet. Holding each other on the couch, walking through the fields, whatever it was there was a silent promise between the two of them to simply move forward. To create a new life. She was secretly happy to have him here with her on the platform, preparing for his Eight year at Hogwarts. Students had been given the opportunity to return to complete their coursework and NEWTs, and at first Harry had been unsure. However, after Hermione decided to go Ron of course followed suit, and after everything they had been through together it was clear the decision was, they all go, or none of them do. Nobody was foolish enough to try and fight Hermione on going back to school, so Hogwarts it was.

Harry squeezed Ginny’s hand, pulling her out of her train of thought.

“Thanks.” She smiled up at him. It was a small kindness they often did for each other. “I wonder where Hermione and Ron are? You think they’re already on the train?”

“They only left a bit before us,” he shrugged “I suppose it could be possible.” Harry scanned the platform, looking for his friends. Ginny looked around as well, watching the last students climb into their compartments. Harry suddenly tensed. She turned to look and noticed Malfoy leaning against the brick wall, his hair noticeably longer than it had been previously, falling just short of his chin.

“Come on, we knew he’d be here. Ron was buggering on about it ever since the Prophet published the article about his parent’s trials. I don’t expect we’ll see many other Slytherins besides him and Parkinson.” She comforted, but Harry didn’t budge.

“There’s no need to watch him like an owl, I’m sure the professors and ministry have it all handled.”

“Like they did in sixth year?” He almost growled, tension clearly forming in his shoulders. The last thing Ginny needed, or any of them needed, was Harry hexing Malfoy on the platform while he was doing absolutely nothing. It would undoubtably be all over the front page of tomorrows Prophet. Bloody hell they’d probably rerun todays paper with it. Ginny was still getting used to being the levelheaded one, but even now she knew not to pick a fight.

“Let’s just board.” She begged. “Like you said Ron and Hermione are probably already on board. They’re probably saving us spots in the compartment.” Ginny pulled his hand gently, trying to guide him towards the train, but Harry stood dead in his tracks, his hand slipping from hers.

“I wish we could have a compartment just the two of us.” He sighed, his hand absentmindedly going to rub his scar. It didn’t hurt him anymore, but it was still a habit he developed when upset. At first it had scared everyone in the Burrow half to death thinking he felt You-Know-Who’s presence still, but he reassured them it was nothing like that and that he didn’t even notice. Each of them had developed their own quirks since The Battle, and they found it easier to not question each other too much.

“Don’t be thick. If we don’t hurry along, we’ll be stuck with a couple of awe struck first years.” She teased, hoping a bit of humor could bring him back to reality. She watched him soften a bit, his shoulders relaxing and a small smile forming.

“I’m pretty famous y’know, and I don’t really feel like signing any autographs today. Captain of the Quidditch team and all.” Ginny added, poking him in the rib, and Harry let out a chuckle, bringing him back from his Malfoy induced daze.

“Alright no need to beat me half to death, I am the chosen one you know.” He took her hand once more, the two of them walking up to the platform and boarding the train. 

“Besides, I’m carrying some goods which seem very precious to you.” He joked, the two now full smiling as they walking through the train.

“Oh, don’t worry Harry I’m very well acquainted with your oh so _precious goods.”_ She joked back, looking up at him with doe eyes.

“Please, please tell me I didn’t just hear that. I thought living with the two of you was bad.”

“Ron!” Ginny announced, as if it wasn’t painfully clear that it was her brother standing in front of her.

“Nope, not even going to acknowledge it.” He said, turning to face Harry whose face had blushed a light pink. He was always an easy read when it came to awkward situations. “Come on, ‘mione and I have a compartment just up ahead.”

The three of them walked down the train cars, and Ginny peered into each one to try and see who had returned to Hogwarts. It had mostly been kept a secret to keep the prophet out of students lives. Of course she knew Harry, Ron and Hermione were coming back. Malfoy and Parkinson were coming back because not even Headmistress McGonagall could keep that out of the papers. She assumed a few others would return for an Eighth year as well, but for other Seventh years she wasn’t sure. She had spent so much of her summer trying to help her family and Harry she’d barely had time to write any of her old friends back, much less open any stray letters she’d received. She had brought them with the intention of reading them once she got to Hogwarts and settled down. This way she’d be able to at least pretend to have read them over the break.

Just as the train blew its whistle and started to move, they had come across the compartment. Hermione sat reading, not an uncommon sight, and across from her sat two friendly familiar faces.

“Luna!” Ginny said excitedly, heading into the compartment to give her friend a hug. Luna had written to Ginny several times, every Tuesday afternoon to be precise. Ginny didn’t have the heart to tell her she didn’t open any of them. “How was your summer?”

“Warmer than expected.” Luna replied wispily, quick to wrap her arms around Ginny and return the hug.

“Hello to you too.” Neville chuckled standing up to give her a hug as well.

“Oh, don’t sound so sad.” Ginny said over her shoulder, “I’m coming for you next. Nobody can escape a Weasley certified hug.” She pulled away from Luna before giving Neville a hug as well.

“I trust your summer was good?” Harry asked Neville as Ginny pulled away, taking his turn to give hugs as well.

“Busy. I’ve been delving more into this Herbology stuff and medical applications. I’ve got my work cut out for me this semester.”

“I keep telling him I can help, but he doesn’t seem to want it.” Hermione said, having put down her book and leaned forward to join in the reunion fun.

“Oh, don’t say it like that. It’s just still in the beginning stages. Once I have a clear direction of what to even ask you, you’re the first person I’m coming to.” Neville sat back down next to Luna, and Harry and Ginny found their seats as well.

“You won’t even tell me what you’re working on!” Hermione complained, throwing her hands in the air.

“Because you’d figure it all out before I even had the chance to. I have to have something for my Eight-year project. What are you all doing?”

“Don’t even get her started.” Ron laughed. “If I have to hear her bounce ideas off of me again, I’ll start to question my own project. I’m studying the impacts and effects of muggle objects within Hogwarts and how to get them to work with all the magic wards. With the muggle wizard unity projects, dad’s fascination, and the combined knowledge of all things muggle from Harry and Hermione I figured it’d be useful but not too hard.”

“Oh! Are you bringing anything with you to start?” Neville asked, his curiosity clearly peaked.

“I’ve got a couple writing items with me since I think they’ll have the least problems, and I’m working with McGonagall to figure out how to bring in more complicated items as the year goes on.”

“That could be quite fun. I wonder how the wrackspurts will surround muggle objects, or if they’ll avoid them entirely.” Luna added in.

“Oh, I’ll uh, have to add that to my research.” Ron said, which was clearly sufficient enough for Luna as she smiled and went back to looking out the window as the train left the London cityscape behind.

“I keep telling Ron he’ll end up publishing a textbook for Muggle Studies one day. I always thought between the three of us I’d be first, but he’s got a good head start.” Hermione added in.

“Maybe it can be like Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. You can add little ratings of ‘most likely to work’ to ‘most likely to explode’” Harry added laughing.

“If you’re not writing a textbook and you keep questioning me, what are you up to then?” Neville asked Hermione, and Ron let out a small groan.

“I wanted to look into magical law,” Hermione began.

“That’s vague.” Neville added.

“I know!” Hermione cried, throwing her hands up in despair. “The current legal system is so flawed, but its rooted in so much history as well. Headmistress McGonagall and I wrote over the break and she encouraged me to narrow it down, and I told her I would before the start of term. But the whole thing is such a mess I can’t find a way to simplify it at all. I mean, how do you not only recreate a whole new system of laws and balances that encourages equality and safety when every wizard out there wants their opinion to be fact!”

“Sort of like Voldemort.” Luna said, her gaze still fixed at the window. The compartment quickly fell silent, Hermione’s arms still in the air from her frantic rant.

“Wanting what’s best for the wizarding world but being unable to separate one’s idealized future from the reality and being unable to see one’s own prejudice within their utopia.” Luna added simply, as if the explanation would help.

Ginny stared at Luna. While she wasn’t necessarily wrong in a way, it was a sensitive topic for just about everyone. During the break, the four of them had agreed to simply move on from the whole experience, forgetting it had happened. Hermione however broke halfway through and had tried to convince all of them to see a Mind Healer. It had helped her, and Ron went occasionally, but Harry didn’t see the point. So, Ginny stayed with him, resolving to look after him and get the Healers notes from Hermione when she needed them. Last year, hell the last few years were something nobody wanted to talk about. Nobody except Luna it seemed. She didn’t even seem to notice the ongoing silence in the compartment as everyone tried to both process what she had said and push it out of their minds as quickly as possible.

“I still haven’t picked mine.” Harry shrugged, finally breaking the tension. The savior for them all once again. “Never had much time for school stuff, so it’s hard to try and pick a specific project to work on. Especially one I have to do all year. Hermione refuses to pick one for me so I’m stuck.”

“If I picked one for you it would defeat the purpose. Besides, I’d end up doing it all for you anyway.”

“I thought you said you’d help us.” Ron pipped in, his eyes pleading.

“Of course, I’ll help you, but there’s a difference between helping and doing everything you know. Especially when you’re basically going to be redefining the entirety of Muggle Studies as a whole.”

“Thanks Hermione, you’re the best.” He gave her a quick kiss and she sighed.

“I don’t think he gets it.” Neville chuckled, and Hermione shrugged, leaning back into her boyfriends shoulder.

“My project is just keeping this one in line.” Ginny added, ruffling Harrys hair. “That and leading the Gryffindor quidditch team to yet another successful victory.”

“Blimey I’ve missed Quidditch.” Ron said, letting a huff of air out. “Do you think the captain will let us play Harry?”

“Not a chance.” Ginny teased, and the cabin erupted in laughter.

“Come on, what would you even do without us there?” Harry joked back, ruffling her hair in return.

“Be able to pay attention!” She pulled away, a mischievous smirk on her face.

“We’ve got the fastest reflexes on the team! There’s no seeker better than Harry!” Ron objected.

“Luckily, I hear they’ve got a fancy new captain who can see anything coming her way.” Ginny said winking. As Ginny was boasting, Ron had leaned over and ripped a piece of paper out of Hermione’s notebook and threw it at Ginny, a solid hit.

“Can’t see everything apparently!” He shouted back, quickly yelping as Hermione whacked him upside the head and pulling her notebook away.

“Not my notes! I’m already worried I didn’t bring enough for all my research.” Hermione scolded him. While she did though, Ginny picked up the crumpled paper on the floor and threw it at Ron, narrowly missing and instead knocking into Hermione.

“Attacking my girlfriend? Now that’s an act of war.” Ron said smugly, before looking at Hermione with pleading eyes.

“Fine. But if I run out, you’re buying me a new one.” She said, handing over the notebook reluctantly knowing what was about to ensue. It wasn’t long before Hermione’s notebook was stripped of its blank pages as a fight broke out between all of them. It was the first time in a long time Ginny felt at peace and was able to just laugh in the moment. Even Neville and Luna gave a few tosses. Before long all of them were crowding the small standing space available and knocking one another over with the wads of paper. Hermione had even enchanted some to stick for extra points, and they had managed to get all over.

“We have an open space if you’d like, although I must warn you it’s a little messy.” Luna said, opening the compartment door. Ginny didn’t even register it, immediately just throwing a paper ball the way of the voice, turning to laugh at whichever first year had been caught in their crossfire. However shocked didn’t even describe her face when she watched the paper ball hit Draco Malfoy in the chest with a soft thud, sticking clean on his shirt.

He looked down at the ball and squinted, his face too cold to read. It had taken everyone a bit to notice, Ron the last one still laughing. Malfoy raised a hand and brushed the ball of paper off his chest and it fell to the floor.

“Ill keep looking.” He said, going to close the door before Luna took another step forward.

“Nonsense, if you haven’t found a compartment yet you’re welcome to sit here.” She smiled at him, a warm genuine smile. It made Ginny feel sick. None of them particularly liked Malfoy, they’d each had their own less than pleasurable experiences with him and his family. Ginny couldn’t decide which shocked her more, the fact that Malfoy had the audacity to show up, or the fact that Luna was talking to him as if everything from just a couple months before hadn’t happened.

“No, I may be an Slytherin but I’m not an idiot.” He took a step back, and Luna followed suit, stepping right up into his space once again. Why was she so insistent that Malfoy sit with them? Ginny took a glance at the cabin and it was clear that the mood would be somber for the rest of the ride even without Malfoy. Hermione had sat back down and was urging Ron and Harry to do the same, while Harry just stood dazed once again. Ginny was torn between trying to help Harry calm down before anything happened between them now that the threat of the Prophet was off the plate and telling Luna to just let Malfoy go. It was during this back and forth that Malfoy had leaned in and whispered something in Lunas ear, his hand grabbing her shoulder slightly as he did.

“Hey!” Ginny and Neville both shouted at once, Neville going up to pull Luna back and Ginny shoving Malfoy out of the doorway and against the opposite compartment door. Which lucky for them was empty. Ginny had learned to be quick, knowing that the seconds between deciding to draw your wand or not wad the difference between life and death. She didn’t need to take that chance with a Malfoy again. It was in no time that she had Malfoy pinned against the compartment, her wand drawn at his throat.

“What kind of games do you think you’re playing at huh? You come on the first day and you’re already starting trouble? What the bloody hell is wrong with you?” Ginny whisper shouted, trying to keep her composure. She didn’t want anyone from the other cabins coming out, much less anyone from her cabin. At some point Hermione had cast a silencing charm around their cabin during the fight, but she wasn’t sure if it extended this far.

“You’re the one with your wand to my throat.” He hissed back.

“Yeah, I learned my lesson thanks to the likes of you.” Ginny spit back, and she could’ve sworn she saw Malfoy flinch at her words.

“My business today was with Lovegood, not with you or anyone else. Had I known you were sharing a compartment I would’ve left. Which was exactly what I was doing when she chose to open the door and invite me in.” He held his hands up in an attempt to show that he was in no way reaching for his wand, but for all Ginny knew the git could’ve mastered wandless magic already. If that was even a thing Death Eaters, (former Death-Eaters? Children of Death Eaters?) did. Ginny wasn’t sure what to do.

“Then why don’t you just piss off then?” Ginny asked, and Draco gestured toward her wand.

“I’m not trying to get myself sent to Azkaban if you’re worried about me hexing you. I don’t even have a wand on me.” He said as if it was the most common thing in the world.

“What? Left it at home with Daddy now that he hasn’t got one?” she bit back. Draco didn’t respond as quickly this time, and his voice was quieter.

“They’re holding it at Hogwarts. I’ve got it for classes and for supervised study halls to complete charms work.” He shrugged, arms still in the air. Ginny’s wand faltered, and she slowly lowered it.

“That’s rubbish. Just… get out of here. I don’t want to see your flat fuck face again.” She took a step back towards her compartment.

“Fine by my standards Weaslette.” He said, his voice full of its usual spite. He stepped back though and turned to walk back towards wherever it was he had come from. Once she was sure he wouldn’t turn back around, Ginny let out a sigh and tried to compose herself. Once she went back in the compartment everyone would be wound up, especially Harry. She was grateful for the silencing charm, more for his sake than hers. She’d need to check in with Luna if Neville hadn’t already, reassure Ron she was fine, face Hermione’s inquisition, and pull Harry out from inside of himself before he did something reckless.

“Harry!” She heard Hermione call out. Ginny turned and watched as Hermione came rushing towards her. No time to process that Harry was already pushing past her. She kicked herself, knowing she had taken too long to pull herself together and tried to get herself back together to deal with whatever was about to happen.

“Oi! Malfoy!” He shouted, clearly not caring that he was out of range of the silencing charm and there was no way everyone on the train didn’t hear. Malfoy didn’t bother to turn around, and Ginny barely had time to even register what was happening before Harry had whipped Malfoy around to face him and socked him hard in the face. Malfoy barely reacted, despite the blood clearly coming from his nose. Ginny pulled her wand out again, unsure of who she was supposed to be protecting.

However, Malfoy didn’t even move, time seemed to move in slow motion as Ginny froze. Hermione and Ron had rushed out of the compartment as Harry shoved Malfoy to the ground and kicked him in the side. Again, and again, and again. Malfoy stayed frozen on the floor, arms wrapped around himself while Hermione and Ron pried Harry away from him. It was only when other students had begun sticking their head out the windows that time resumed, and Ginny ran up to join them.

“Let me go!”

“Harry please.” Hermione begged.

“Don’t come anywhere near us!” He shouted, as if she wasn’t even there. “You never should’ve even come here! You fucking murderer! Ron, I said let me go!” Harry shouted, wrestling in Ron’s arms to get back to Malfoy.

“Get him back in the compartment, whatever it takes.” Ginny said to Hermione as they passed, and Hermione gave her a nod. Harry had testified on Malfoys behalf during the trials, but in moments like these it didn’t matter what the reality was. What mattered what getting him to calm down. Hermione sent a concerned look to Ron, who shook his head no, but the two continued staring at each other. A silent conversation between them. Hermione lifted her wand and Ron closed his eyes. Whatever spell she cast, it seemed to calm Harry down enough to get him into the compartment quietly.

Now that one half of the problem was handled, it was time to fix the other half. Ginny continued walking over to Malfoy, not sure what she was going to do when she got to him. By the time she did he was on his knees, shakily getting back up. He looked at her, his face still cold and unreadable.

“I’ll be sure to time myself better in the future when I need to speak to Lovegood then.” He wiped the blood dripping from his nose on to the back of his hand. “Your boyfriend really can’t throw a punch huh? Good thing he had a wand .”

“Are you capable of being quiet? Or are you entirely fueled by hurting the people I love.” Ginny bit back.

“I don’t want to hurt anyone.” Draco said, now standing at full height. Well, he seemed smaller somehow. Shoulders curled in on themselves, and eyes distant. Ginny wasn’t sure what to say, and wasn’t sure if she could consider the situation fixed enough to walk away.

“I heard yelling in the train!”

“Can you see what’s happening?”

“Get your big head out of the way! I think they’re still out there!”

“I think I see Malfoy! Did someone just beat him up?”

“Shit” Ginny said.

There was a chorus of students, all pressing up against the glass door windows of the compartments to get a look. The silencing charm definitely didn’t reach this far. Maybe it meant nobody had seen that it was Harry who had done this. When Ginny had spent the break taking care of Harry, she thought she’d seen the worst of it. He had worked through his violent outbursts and was able to control it. Now he just simply froze most often in his own head, and as long as Ginny was there, she was able to help pull him out. Clearly now that they were back at Hogwarts things were different. She’d have to be extra careful to take care of him, and to clean up his messes.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure they’ll be awarding Gryffindor points for taking the last great Death Eater down on the train ride here.” Draco said, his words harsh but his tone barely carrying the underlying threat.

“I don’t feel right doing this, but I’m not going to apologize either.” Ginny said, looking to make sure the other students could see, before gearing back and colliding her fist square in Malfoys face. This time he did react. She wasn’t Quidditch captain for nothing after all. He stumbled a few steps back and looked up at her. His eyes were full of confusion, and then suddenly an unsettling understanding.

“We do what we need to protect the ones we love right?” He asked, spitting blood on the floor.

“I’ll never be anything like you.” She turned on her heel, the gasps of the other student’s reassurance enough that they’d think the fight had been between them. Malfoy wouldn’t fight back, he wouldn’t follow, and if the first years reported it he would probably find some way to cover it up to protect himself. Even if he told, Harry was supposedly cleared by a mind Healer, and she had never gone. She’d just take the fall, say she had started it and Harry had simply gone to defend her. Still, even with it all worked out in her head, she held her breath. The future may be planned, but she had no way of knowing what waited for her in the compartment once she got back.

She was surprised however, to find the compartment almost lacking in tension completely. Whether it was Hermione’s spell or something else, Harry seemed back to normal. It was as if the whole fight with Malfoy hadn’t happened at all, and they were back to the notes fight antics. She wanted to ask what had happened, but Neville simply gave her a look and she knew she’d have to ask Hermione about it later.

“Hufflepuff? Really Ron? I hardly think they’ll prove tough Quidditch competition this year.” Harry laughed.

“Come on! Slytherins a wild mess and Ravenclaw’s never been as intense about training as we have. Hufflepuffs well balanced, we’ll have to look out for them I’m telling you. Change up our training strategy.” Ron insisted. “Look, Gin will back me up right?”

“I, uh” Ginny couldn’t process the complete change in moment. It felt like the entire fight with Malfoy hadn’t happened for anyone except for her. She looked down at her hand to see his blood still there, the only thing other than her memory that proved it had happened at all.

“Oh Ginny!” Harry said, leaping to his feet. “What happened to your hand? Are you ok?” He gently held her hand and raised it up to his lips to place a gentle kiss. “Do you need a healing spell? Lunas awfully good at those.”

“No.” Ginny said, pulling her hand away. “No. I’m… it’s just a paper cut. From the fight we had earlier. It’s nothing needing a healing spell or anything.” She said unsettled. Harry was himself. His goofball loving self. Had punching Draco been that good of a release for him? No, it couldn’t be. He clearly didn’t remember it. Unless he was just trying to play it nice for Neville and Luna, who had hopefully been spared the sounds from the nasty fight just a few feet away.

Harry’s brows furrowed, confused as to why Ginny was pulling away. She shook her head slightly, getting rid of the thoughts. It didn’t matter now. What mattered now was she was on a train back to Hogwarts with the most amazing boyfriend in the world, her troublesome but loveable brother, and some of her best friends. Malfoy would stay away, she’d finish her NEWTS, they’d finish their projects, and it would all be perfect. Hogwarts would be perfect. This year would go by smooth with no more bumps along the way.

Ginny sat down next to Harry while he and Ron continued talking about Quidditch and groaning about class schedules while Hermione continued to heckle Neville to even give her a hint about his research project. Luna stayed staring out the window, her head resting lightly while she enjoyed the countryside.

“I hope he’s ok” She whispered, and if Ginny hadn’t been ignoring the cross conversation, she would have completely missed it.

“It’s just a scratch Luna, like Harry said I’m fine.” Ginny replied.

“No.” she said, her head turning away from the window and eyes connecting with Ginny’s. They were a vast sea of feelings. Each one crashing into the other, pulling Ginny in like a tide threatening to drown her. “I don’t think you are.” 

Maybe this year would be harder than she thought.


	2. Light and Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New Tags and CW/TW in this chapter for: Choking and Under Negotiated Kink!   
>  These are going to be fairly common moving forward as well. Anytime a new tag is added I'll add any potential triggers here at the beginning!

Ginny sat happily next to Harry in the Great Hall, Ron and Hermione across from them as all tension from the train ride eased away from her. Students were still filling in and awaiting the sorting ceremony while others caught up with friends they had missed on the platform. There was a calming chaos in the Hall, a sea of voices that welcome Ginny like a slow rising tide.

“Good evening students!” Headmistress McGonagall’s voice called out, and the room was quick to quiet. It didn’t matter if she was new to the position, everyone knew to listen when she spoke.

“I want to welcome each and one of you back to Hogwarts. This year is, and will be, different than any other. You are not children, nor do I intend to treat you that way. However, you are all still students. Whether you are in your first year or final year. We will work with you as best we can, and still we expect that each of you continue to conduct yourselves in a way which makes all of us proud to represent not only Hogwarts, but the wizarding world as a whole moving forward.”

“Talk about pressure.” Ron whispered.

“We took down Voldemort, what’s keeping a couple first years in line?” Ginny joked back.

“Clearly you don’t remember our first years.” Harry whispered back.

“Will you stop talking?” Hermione interrupted, and they hushed down again to listen.

“The castle is complete in its renovations, and all halls are safe for students to explore at their own discretion during the day. The Forbidden Forest will remain, as its name suggests, forbidden to enter without the supervision and guidance of a professor. This year we have several new Professors who will be helping in the new term. Professor Kasley will be stepping in as our Transfiguration professor while I assume headmistress duties. Do not begin to think that will be any excuse to cause trouble.”

A tall woman in cascading blue robes stood and gave a small wave and smile before sitting back down next to Flitwick. Whispering something to him as she did which made him laugh.

“Joining her is Professor Elbert, who will be taking over the position of Potions Master.” McGonagall began. Hagrid nudged the woman sitting next to him who instantly shot out of her chair and smiled at the room. She seemed so much kinder than any potions professor Ginny had ever had, and she worried the students would eat her alive.

“Finally, Professor Deutsch will be joining us as well as the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor and head of Slytherin House. Having been an excellent student in her own year, I hope you all heed her advice.” A shorter woman looked up, her gaze piercing as if she was looking at each student at once. Ginny didn’t think she’d have any trouble with the Slytherins or truly any student at all.

“Now that we’ve introduced the Professors, let’s welcome our new students as well. As you all know, Hogwarts was founded by four great Witches and Wizards, leaving us with four houses. Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin…” McGonagall continued on, beginning the sorting ceremony.

The first years seemed so much smaller than Ginny remembered. Was she really that small when she had started? She took a look at her friends around the table and it felt like it had been decades ago that they had started here. So much had happened, so much had changed.

As the first years got sorted one by one, each house roared in excitement. There were a few students sorted into each house, although Ginny lost track after the third Gryffindor came bounding towards them.

“I hope that each house will welcome the new students with open arms, as well as remember that while the houses give us structure, they do not define who we are or who we will be. The castle may be restored, but there are wounds many of you carry which cannot simply be swish and flicked away. I urge you all to seek out comfort in one another, and in your professors as well. Both our new professors, and the portraits of our former ones will be available to all students anytime. Now, let the feast begin!” As McGonagall finished, the room once again erupted into its usual noise as food appeared in front of them.

“Finally! I was starving!” Ron said, reaching across the table to slide the plate of potatoes over to himself.

“Oh, you’re always starving.” Hermione said, rolling her eyes with a smile.

“Save some for me!” A voice called.

“Seamus!” Ron blurted, turning to give his friend a hug. “How have you been mate? I barely heard from you all summer!”

“Good! Good! I was here mostly. Helping work on the castle repairs and getting everything ready for you lot. Better not mess up what I worked so hard to build.” He laughed, wedging himself between Neville and Ron.

“You? Building things instead of blowing them up?” Ginny laughed.

“Don’t worry did my fair share of that too! All controlled though.”

“Must have been hard work.” Harry added, mostly picking at the scattered chicken on his plate.

“Not too bad! Plus, now I’m ahead of even Hermione here on her Eighth-year project.” He teased.

“What! How does volunteer work count! That hardly seems fair. Will it count poorly for the rest of us?” She turned to Ron “Should we have come back? I didn’t even know we could’ve come back.”

“Oh, don’t get your knickers in a twist. McGonagall reached out to me. Figured I’d enjoying the blowing up part, don’t think either of us expected how much I’d like building it back up. It felt, right. Putting it all back together again. Made me realize I have a passion for it. I started doing research on Muggle and Wizarding architecture, influences, structures, and what started as a weird late-night hobby soon became a full fledge project.”

“Blimey! That’s fantastic Seamus.” Ron smiled. “I’m sure we could compare notes about muggle architecture, my project is focused on the incorporation of daily items into daily wizarding life. It’s on a smaller scale but it’d be right interesting to see what we come up with.”

“You bet!”

“What about Dean? The two of you are always together I assumed you’d work with him.” Harry pipped up.

“Dean and I wrote each other over the summer, I think he’s doing something with art although I can’t remember the specifics. You’ll have to ask him when you see him.” Seamus responded, but Harry only grumbled.

“Well be sure to do that when we get a chance!” Ginny added with a smile, “Right Harry?”

“Yeah. No, of course.” He nodded, seemingly growing paler with each moment they spent in the Great Hall. It easily could’ve easily been from the mention of Dean. Not many would have pegged Harry as the jealous type, but he always seemed a bit touchy whenever it came to one of Ginny’s exes. It was one of the many painful topics the two of them had realized it was easier to avoid than confront.

“You doing ok mate?” Ron asked, mouth full of whatever food he had managed to fit while Hermione wasn’t looking.

“Just feeling a little overwhelmed is all.” Harry admitted sheepishly. “Might take a breather for a bit. Maybe head up to the dormitory before it gets too crowded.”

“Do you want us to come with you?” Hermione asked, already starting to get up.

“But my foo-“ Ron began, but Hermione gave him a look which shut him up quickly. Ginny was grateful she wasn’t often on the receiving end of those looks.

“No, I’m good. I think Ginny and I’ve got it.” He said, turning to her. Ginny smiled, of course she’d go with him. She’d always go with him.

Harry stood from the table, and Ginny noticed several eyes follow him as he stood from around the Great Hall. She hadn’t even noticed that people were watching them, although it makes sense. She’d been silly to think it was all because of the mention of Dean. Of course, Harry would be uncomfortable here. Not only after everything that happened, but with everyone starting, it’s enough to get to anyone.

“See you all later tonight?” She asked, standing, and reaching her hand out to Harry. The two intertwining their fingers, and she gave him a reassuring squeeze.

“Of course! Harry can’t get out of a friendly game of wizards chess that easily.” Ron teased.

“Oh! Did you bring any of those muggle games Ron? Maybe you could get a head start and we could try one of those?” Hermione added.

“Only you could find a way to make getting a head start on a project fun.” He smiled, giving her a kiss.

“Oi! Take good care of my sister!” Ron called out back at Harry, who merely laughed.

“You know I always do.” He flashed him a smile.

The group nodded, before turning back to discussing summers past and upcoming plans for the year. Comparing schedules and arguing about what they thought the new professors would be like. The sound slowly faded into a general rumble in the hall, to a distant hum as she and Harry walked out of the Great Hall hand in hand.

“You sure you remember the way?” Ginny teased as they walked through the corridors.

“Of course. But id be an awful friend if I didn’t take some time to admire Seamus’s work before heading to bed.” Harry said. “Come on, it’ll be nice to just walk for a bit.”

“Yeah.” Ginny said, swallowing the lump in her throat. She would never admit that the Great Hall had been overwhelming for her as well. That the idea of wandering the halls with Harry was wonderful, but the fear of losing him among the stones was eating at the back of her mind. She’d be able to make it back on her own, but she worried if he would be ok.

The two of them wandered the corridors, Harry running his free hand along the wall deep in thought. Ginny wanted to ask him if they were thinking the same things. About how a few months before the Great Hall had been a hospital. How it was where her family had gotten Percy back but lost Fred. Where Teddy had become an orphan. Where Lavender Brown was disfigured so badly her family still sat by her bedside in St Mungos waiting for her to wake up. Or maybe it was worse for him. He had been the Chosen One after all. He was Teddy’s father now. He had died for them. Of course, it would be so much harder for him. Harry had stopped walking and frozen at the end of the wall, the castle quiet around them.

“Harry I-“ Ginny began, before Harry crashed his lips against hers. She stumbled back into the wall. Her free hand falling to her side while Harry held the other in place above her head. There wasn’t even a beat to breathe, the kiss consuming the life within each of them. He pulled back, his eyes lidded and breath heavy. Slowly he let go of her hand, but she kept it pinned against the wall as if his touch hadn’t left.

“I know you said I shouldn’t just do that once we got back. I’m sorry I just. You make me feel whole, you drown out everything and sometimes I just need to let go and I-” Harry rambled, tears forming in his eyes. Ginny let her arm down and wrapped her fingers in Harrys hair, pulling herself forward into him and capturing his lips in a kiss again. Pulling him back to her, deeper into her, further away from the past. He wraps his hands around her waist pulling himself closer. Unable to resist the hunger growing inside of him, the pain leaving him insatiable.

He pulls her hands out of his hair pinning them above her head once again. He wraps his other hand around her waist to pull her closer and he trails kisses down her cheek. Planting butterfly kisses along her neckline as she shuddered and let out an almost soundless moan.

“Be a good girl and stay still for me?” Harry whispered in her ear; his breath hot as he did. Ginny nodded, unsure if Harry wanted her to verbally address him or not. Trusting her not to move, he let go of her wrists, watching her to make sure she listened. Once he was satisfied, he slid his hands around her waist, pulling her body closer to him. Watching as her body arched to keep her hands fixed in place.

Harry kissed at her neck again, dragging his teeth across the fragile skin and leaving bruises in his wake. He slides his hands up from her waist, cupping the sides of her face as she leans into the warmth of his calloused hands. Ginny’s hands catch herself on his chest, unable to hold them up above her any longer. She feels his heart hammering beneath her hands and his breathing get heavier. The reminder that he was real and alive before her. She freezes in this moment, wanting to disappear in it just as much as he does.

Taking one hand from her face, Harry trails his hand down her neck. His fingers cold against her hot skin. He feels Ginny gasp, not hesitating to further claim her mouth. His other hand slipping further back into her ginger hair, grabbing fistfuls, and pulling, jerking her head away from him and breaking the kiss so that she looks up at him. Her eyes wide and wild, her lips glisteningly wet. He uses this new leverage to jerk her down forward, and she falls to her knees.

“You’re beautiful like this.” He mused; his thumb tracing circles across her throat.

“Just for you.” She replied, her voice breathy as she did. She knew what would come next, but it didn’t lessen the widening surprise in her eyes. Harry’s hand tightened around her throat, and she gasped, sucking in what shaky breath she could before Harry captured her lips once again.

It’s a dangerous game they often play. One Ginny knew could easily lead to either of them getting hurt, but she trusts Harry. She knew no matter how wide his eyes became or how dark her vision spotted he’d be there to bring her back. Just like she did for him. Ginny’s world grew more and more narrow, getting lost in Harry. It’s therapeutic. It’s good. It’s what they need.

Harry pulled away from the kiss, releasing his grip for her neck as well as she sucked in a breath. The world fuzzy around the edges.

“Are you ok?” She asked, eyes unfocused and wide looking up at him as if he were the only light in the world. Almost too bright to look at directly, but too enchanting not to look away.

“Are you?” He chuckled back, hands resting on her cheeks again. He was smiling down at her. He looked so happy.

“Again. Please… do it again.” Ginny begged quietly. Harry didn’t go slow this time, wrapping his hand around her neck, thrusting her back against the wall, and closing her world off once again. The world grew simpler and simpler, until Ginny was lost completely in the sensation of the moment. Soon lost in nothing at all.

Nothingness. The simplicity of nothingness. The weightless feeling of floating.

Maybe this is why Harry chose to die.

Ginny felt strong hands wrap around her shoulders and yank her backwards up on to her feet, her head spinning as she stumbled into soft arms. In her daze she rubbed her head against the chest taking in a deep breath of air, a small moan escaping her lips as she did.

“Gin? Gin are you ok?” She heard Harry’s voice, although she couldn’t quite connect where it was coming from.

“Mm?” She mumbled.

Slowly she became aware of the rushing sound of footsteps as well, and she looked up dazed from Harry’s chest to see what appeared to be the sun rising over a dark sea.

“What happened?” The sun asked, concerned.

“She got overwhelmed in the Great Hall, I think it was all too much for her. We were looking for some fresh air before heading to the common room.” Harry replied, his voice surprisingly sturdy for someone who was obviously painfully hard beneath his pants. The thought made Ginny chuckle.

“Should you take her to Madam Pomfrey?” The sun asked, sounding no more comforted at the new information. In fact, she almost sounded more worried. Ginny wished she had the energy to turn and look at the sun, but then again, her mum always said looking right at the sun was bad for your eyes.

“No no I think she’ll be alright. Happened sometimes over the summer too. She just needs to get in bed and have some water. Maybe some pumpkin juice too if you don’t mind fetching it?”

Ginny groaned. She didn’t want to get in bed. She was fine exactly where she was. Wherever she was.

“Of course. I’ll meet you by the common room?” The sun said after a moment. She shuffled slightly, towards them then back again.

“Sounds great, thanks Luna.” Harry said, but the sun stayed.

“It’s probably a good thing you found us anyway. How’d you manage to do that?” Harry asked, his voice slightly protective. It was still habit, worrying about being found. All three members of the trio were a bit jumpy when it came to those things.

“Wrackspurts. There was a trail of them, and I wanted to see what they were up to. You’d best be careful; you both seem rather full of them.”

“Oh, er, well, thank you.” Harry nodded, and Ginny felt him shift around her.

The blur left then, and Ginny rolled in Harrys arms, stretching slightly, and feeling her body begin to wake back up. That annoying tingle firing through her skin.

“Let’s get you up to the common room.” Harry said, helping her to her feet. When had she gotten on the ground? Her legs were shaky, and she leaned on him heavily. It seemed so much darker than it was before, although maybe that was just because of the dizziness.

“The sun went away?” Ginny asked, looking up with doe eyes at Harry.

“Yeah” He chuckled, “That’s usually what happens at night.”

“No.” Ginny said, furrowing her brow. Night? When had it become night? Wait no, focus.

“The sun. She… went to get… juice?” Ginny asked.

“You mean Luna? Yeah she went to grab you some pumpkin juice.”

“I like juice.”

“I know you do my love. Now come on, let’s get you to bed.” Harry said with a smile and Ginny let out a sigh. Intertwining her fingers in his once again as she let him lead her back up to Gryffindor Tower. She felt like she was floating when she was with him. Nothing could touch them in times like this, nothing could creep from the dark or grow from the flames. Nothing other than each other. Ginny didn’t know what she’d do without him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long for Chapter 2! I had written it out and just didn't like it and ended up sitting on it for a couple weeks before I figured out how I wanted to change it. I like this a lot better though! School and work are finally setting into place as well and with NaNo starting next month I'm hoping to focus on this fic more. As usual please let me know what you think in the comments!!

**Author's Note:**

> There's the first chapter!! I don't have any solid beta-readers yet so sorry if there are any mistakes I missed or the wording seems off. If you're interested or willing in helping out let me know! I hope to have new chapters up each week (pending my availability) so look forward to that! Please leave any comments or feedback below or feel free to reach out to me on my mess of a twitter! (Same username). I'm hoping to find other people who love this ship and AU as much as I do, and people who can connect with the struggles of the characters.


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